By Jeremy Brunner
Last week: 9-5(64%)
Against-the-spread: 8-5(62%)
Season total: 72-42(63%)
Season ATS: 60-49-3(55%)
Lock-of-the-week: 7-3(70%)
"Grape nuts. No grapes. No nuts. What's the deal?"
In the spirit of Stand Up N' Win(a classic SNL sketch), I bring you my weekly picks. Each game will be accompanied by an applicable quote from that sketch. I finally have things dialed in, and should go 14-and-0 this week. At the very least, I will continue to run away from my brother. All you doubters out there, please note the lock-of-the-week, back on a roll again. I called the Raiders upset, and didn't even need the 9 points. Be sure to get on board, its like I'm printing money over here.
Green Bay(3-4) at Buffalo(2-5)
They're bad. They're good. They're bad. They're good. What's the deal? As far-fetched as this seems, the Pack are now just a game out of the final playoff spot. Not anymore. Bills 15, Pack 10
Atlanta(5-2) at Detroit(1-6)
"If it McComes from where I McThink it does, I don't McWant any." The Falcons are riding high. Mike Vick and Alge Crumpler are MVP candidates(not making that up). Time for a let-down. Upset special #1: Loins 29, Falcons 28
Houston(2-5) at NY Giants(5-2)
"I mean thanks, but no thanks, I'm still stuffed from that bag of smoked almonds." Not about to watch this game. Giants 34, Texans 23
Dallas(4-3) at Washington(2-5)
"Tommy Shelton, you've been on 'Evening on the Improv' 600 times." Is it possible for Dallas to be on prime-time t.v. any more than they already are? The reason: T.O., of course. And now that the Cowboys have discovered Owens, don't expect them to lose for a while. Cowboys 34, Washington 24
Cincinnati(4-3) at Baltimore(5-2)
"What is the deal with Count Chocula? I mean, are we supposed to be afraid of this guy?" Ray Lewis and the Ravens aren't so intimidating with the Bears and the Broncos out there. But still: Its my take-it-to-Wendover-lock-of-the-week: Ravens(-3) 43, Bengals 23
Denver(5-2) at Pittsburgh(2-5)
"It looks like somebody went to Super-Cuts, and fell asleep in the chair." So the Broncos fell down back to earth this weekend. But that is nothing compared to the free fall the Steelers are in the middle of. Its going to be a long Sunday for Big Ben. Upset Special #2: Broncs 19, Steelers 16
Miami(1-6) at Chicago(7-0)
"Clap on, clap off? Everytime I'm watching t.v. and someone gets a round of applause my garage door goes up and down." Everybody's new favorite team is the Bears. But remember the famous 1985 team. They could not beat the Dolphins(their only loss all year). So can this years version beat the Fish. Umm, yup. Bears 42, Phins 24
Kansas City(4-3) at St. Louis(4-3)
"What part of the chicken does the McNugget come from?" Now that Larry Johnson has returned to last year's ridiculous form, watch out for the Chiefs(my surprise pre-season SB pick). Upset Special #3: Chefs 24, Rams 18
New Orleans(5-2) at Tampa Bay(2-5)
"The professor can make a radio out of a coconut, but he can't fix a hole in the da** boat." I would be less that surprised to see the Saints start losing some winnable games. How long can you play on emotion alone, before it runs out? Just not this week. Saints 20, Buccs 18
Tennessee(2-5) at Jacksonville(4-3)
"Who are the ad-wizards who came up with this one?" A recent poll revealed the Jaguars as the least liked team in the NFL. You add that with the Titans and you get some must-see tv. Jags 21, Titans 11
Minnesota(4-3) at San Francisco(2-5)
"And the guy next to me loves it, he's going back for thirds." Oh, Alex Smith. You had to feel for the former Ute against the Bears, and he has another tough matchup. Something tells me he will do much better against Minnesota. Vikes 30, Niners 27
Cleveland(2-5) at San Diego(5-2)
"Beef stroganof? Isn't that getting a little loose with the language?" Just when we thought LT was slowing down, he has a game like Sunday's 41 fantasy point explosion. Bolts 38, Browns 18
Indianapolis(7-0) at New England(6-1)
"Who are these people? Somebody tell me, because I'd like to know." The Pats have been rolling through their schedule with little problems, but they have their toughest test of the year in prime time. With everybody in love with the Bears, sometimes we forget the Colts are undefeated too. Until this week: Pats 9, Colts 7
Oakland(2-5) at Seattle(4-3)
"Why don't they just make the whole plane out of the black box?" Which team is going down in flames here? Both, but the Raiders are riding a two game winning streak. Yet, you don't really think I'd pick Oak-town again. Hawks 31, Raiders 26
Agree/Disagree? Post below.
